honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
