I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
