i jhust puked up my retainher.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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