sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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