I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize