i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
