yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The air taste purple.
Randomize
