Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
