Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
