Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
