is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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