Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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