using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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