New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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