OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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