Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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