Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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