Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize