Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
