I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
