We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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