found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
