i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
