he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
