dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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