careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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