He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize