Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
