You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
smell my finger.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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