Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
