***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
