i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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