What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
