I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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