Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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