did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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