If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
