dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
