Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
