Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
