Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
why is half of my head shaved?
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