i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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