He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
