Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I bet he comes in French.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
