So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
