out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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