Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
