just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
