Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
