he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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