i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
