Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
