I bet he comes in French.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
And the cops told us we were all naked.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
