Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize