Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
