Nicole vs. Life
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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