ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize