hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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