shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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