My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
