the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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