seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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